If I were in charge of the Internet, you could Mapquest your lover’s mood swings. Hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied, U-turn on silent treatment,all the way back to tongue kissing and good lovin’. You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection. Some days, I’m as shallow as a baking pan, but I still stretch miles in all directions. If I owned the Internet, Napster, Monster and Friendster.com would be one big website. That way you could listen to cool music while you pretend to look for a job and you’re really just chattin’ with your pals.